By Jayaram V
There are two well-known ways in which you can experience peace.
One is by getting what you want and other is to live with what you
have. In the first, you try to fulfill your desires and needs by
controlling your actions and circumstances. In the second, you learn
to live with your failures and disappointments by controlling your
thoughts, desires and expectations.
The first is about Creating or expressing the life you want.
The second one is about adjusting and adapting to the life that
is presented to you by circumstances and forces beyond your control.
In both cases you control and exercise your will, but in different
ways and for different purposes.
The first one is the way of the worldly people, who cannot be
at peace unless they are in control. Ask them to sit by the side
of a driver in a car and they will remain restless until they reach
the destination. They are driven by passions and emotions and the
desire to secure things to make themselves happy. The second one
is practiced by those who want to lead a spiritual or ascetic life.
They are driven by an aspiration to be themselves and live by the
highest ideals and values that represent the best of the humanity
In life both the approaches are important. You can use them wisely
to experience peace and balance in your life. However, you must
have the discretion to know when to use them. The Ideal is you should
always try to control your destiny through your actions and never
give up until you are certain that your efforts are not yielding
results. Before you abandon your goals or methods, you should try
alternatives to make sure that the fault does not lie with your
or your effort. When your efforts do not produce the desired result,
you must have the wisdom to acknowledge your failure and move on.
If you are serious about peace, you should always look into yourself.
With some effort you can detach yourself from external things and
learn to be stable and peaceful. In other words, you should not
only try to control your destiny through your actions, but also
control your emotions and learn to remain peaceful.
In conclusion, we may say that although both the approaches are
seemingly different, in essence they use control only to achieve
the desired ends. In both cases you use your will power and your
intention. In the first, you try to control your destiny through
your thoughts and actions and in the other you control your thoughts
and actions to reach your desired destiny.
Jayaram V is the Founder President of Hinduwebsite.com and
author of 12 books, including Think Success: Essays on Self-help.